Eagles Season-In-Review: Unexpectedly entertaining run to the playoffs; shoulda-coulda loss to the Saints. Overall: B+.

But if you’re looking to take comfort in something, I guess you could say Buddy Ryan got his first Philly-related playoff win, what with son Rob Ryan having Sir Bounty Bowl’s photo on the back of his defensive-coordinating cheat sheet.

On the heels of his cheeky and/or titsy Carl’s Jr. ad, to which really thinskinned Philadelphians took exception, former Eagles WR and driveway-situps enthusiast Terrell Owens is slated to return to town for the “The 1st Annual Philly Sports Roast.”

Here’s the details and such. It’s for charity, so don’t get all scoffy and whatnot:

Philly Sports Roast WMV from Hair O' The Dog on Vimeo.

Former Eagle and NFL Bad Boy Terrell Owens Returns To Philadelphia To Settle Unfinished Business & Set The Record Straight As Featured Guest Of The “The 1st Annual Philly Sports Roast”
February 20, 2014 – 7:00 – 11:00 PM
Crystal Tea Room, 100 E Penn Square, Philadelphia
Tickets $175.00 and VIP Tables of 10 – $1950.00
A portion of proceeds to benefit Mary Kate’s Legacy Foundation www.marykateslegacy.com

PHILADELPHIA, PA 01/14/14 — We often hear celebrities acknowledging their many blessings and expressing their wish to “give back to their fans and the community.” For 15 year NFL veteran and six-time Pro-Bowler Terrell Eldorado Owens — aka T.O. — this sentiment takes on a far less warm and fuzzy tone as it relates to City of Brotherly Love, where he played from 2004 thru 2006.

During his tenure with the Eagles, T.O. thrilled and enraged fans, confounded coaches and jacked up front-office blood-pressure, while still widely regarded as one of the great performers of the game.

And now, though no longer a player, T.O. is still needling Philadelphia, most recently in the nationally broadcast Carl’s Jr. cheesesteak burger TV ads, where Philly fans are portrayed as boorish drunks hanging out of a beat-up SUV hollering “T.O. you suck!”

On Thursday, February 20th this love hate relationship will be lanced like a festering boil when T.O. returns to the City of Brotherly Love as the featured guest of the “The 1st Annual Philly Sports Roast.” I’m coming back to Philly to take care of some unfinished business and set the record straight,” according to sources close to the mercurial T.O.!

This highly anticipated, unscripted and explicitly candid event will draw together high-profile sports celebrities, media personalities and top socialites to raise money for Mary Kate’s Legacy Foundation www.marykateslegacy.com and other local charities.

“The 1st Annual Philly Sports Roast” is presented by Philly’s own funnyman and impressionist extraordinaire Joe Conklin and on-air sports savant and Wing Bowl creator Al Morganti, in association with big bash experts, Hair O’ The Dog producers Metrospect Marketing. Joining in the hosting duties are entrepreneurs Julie Dorenbos, wife of Eagles player Jon Dorenbos, and “Boxing, Brains and Beauty” girl Susie Celek, who together run Skin Palette sunless tanning salon.

While the T.O. and fellow sports and media do the “Roasting” everyone in attendance will enjoy an evening of raw laughter and celebration at the very first “Philly Sports Roast” — soon to be Philadelphia tradition.

“The 1st Annual Philly Sports Roast” will be held at the Crystal Tea Room, 100 E Penn Square, Philadelphia. Tickets are $175.00 per person with VIP Tables of 10 for $1950.00. To buy tickets on line visit www.PhillySportsRoast.com, www.TicketLeap.com call 215-600-0009 Buffy@Metrospectevents.com.

… And luckily, I got to cover it for NewsWorks. My takeaway? Connor Barwin is a really decent, down-to-earth dude who just happens to be a really good football player.

Headed down to the Linc for Tuesday’s public Eagles-camp session. Good time. Wrote about it for NewsWorks. You can read it here.

I headed down to a few Eagles preseason practices in the past week on account of a story I about Rasheed Bailey, an undrafted free agent trying to make the squad (and who just happens to have grown up a few blocks from our house).

Anyhow, it was a fun assignment. Above is a photo of superstars-in-the-making Zach Ertz (TE) and Jordan Matthews (WR) doing an after-practice drill that involves speed catching tennis balls. Enjoy.

You could say I was a little disappointed that the Eagles cut Tim Tebow over Labor Day Weekend. Was rooting for the guy in the face of all his vehement haters. As such, I turned to the Periscope app to share news of his Philly demise. From Guatemala and Mexico to Sydney and Jakarta, word was shared. Spoiler alert: Most people — even the Americans — didn’t know who he was.

Below are vapers, Miss Texas USA and cow milkers getting word.

Remember that time A.I. stepped over Lakers’ wee guard Tyronn Lue en route to the Sixers lone win in the NBA Championship series vs. the Lakers? Yeah, that’s what Fletcher Cox of the Eagles manhandling wee (to him) Buffalo Bills running back Lesean McCoy on the occasion of his return to Philadelphia reminded me of on Sunday.

Go Birds.

Bye, Shady.

Hope you enjoyed your stay, Lesean. XOXO, Philly https://t.co/nNpnfvS6Kf

— Brian P. Hickey (@BrianPHickey) December 14, 2015

Louden just did a better job of breaking down the NFC East race than anybody I've seen on TV. https://t.co/gchRQfT5TN

— Brian P. Hickey (@BrianPHickey) December 15, 2015

Sure, he ignored the existence of the New York football Giants and the team that represents Washington D.C. but I think he captured the true essence of what matters most in the only city in which he’s ever lived.

Also, this Dave Maialetti shot — as many of his are — is the best picture of the Eagles season if you ask me:

Hi, all. I wrote many stories for PhillyVoice in recent months. Here are my 20 favorites. Check them out if you’re so inclined!

WATCH: First-ever brigade of special-needs children performs at Mummers Parade

How to sing the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ effectively in public: A guide

Poll: Soccer nearly cracks America’s top three favorite spectator sports

How a hands-free dog-walking device could save a family from losing their home

WATCH: Here’s how it feels when The Killers invite you on stage to play a song on drums

Eagles fan who ran into subway pillar: ‘Hopefully, I made Brian Dawkins proud’

WATCH: Meet the man behind the Eagles mask

Attorney: Horse-punching client getting treatment for alcohol addiction

Could fewer Wingettes and an Eagles Super Bowl win bring Wing Bowl to a close?

Philadelphia’s collective joy, as seen from atop the Rocky Steps

Want to know where all that Super Bowl LII Champion Patriots gear is going?

Found! The loving golden retriever wearing an Eagles handkerchief

With SEPTA rail passes selling fast, father-and-son make icy trek to score fares for Birds bash

When a SEPTA bus blocked their view of the Eagles parade, joy turned to anger

WATCH: 10 unforgettable moments from Fairmount on Eagles Parade Day

WATCH: Five videos of Philly police officers dancing and singing at Eagles parade

Here are all 118 songs played during the Eagles parade

A noisy Queen Village gate turns a young couple’s dream home into a nightmare

Family of beloved Dirty Franks bartender sees positive signs of recovery

After 71 years, an old-school Philly bowling alley closing its doors for good

Hey folks. Since there was a recent election, it was only a matter of time before I got my prying little eyes on the write-in votes cast in Philadelphia during it (read: my good friends at the City Commissioner’s Office kindly emailed a spreadsheet over once they had a chance to compile them.

Some ground rules: no write-in votes cast for anybody named Trump, Musk or Ye will be shared here. Screw them and screw the people who enable them. Instead of presenting these in a by-race sense, I’ll break them into categories with tallies from my quick review of countless pages of data. While they may not be dead-on accurate, the final tallies are more than ballpark. With no further ado, away we go!

THE PHILLIES

The timing of the election was fresh after the Phillies exciting run to the World Series. As such, they are very well represented here.

Bryce Harper: 83 total

23 (Senator), 8 (Governor), 4 (2nd district Congress), 15 (3rd district Congress), 4 (2nd district Assembly), 1 (173^rd District), 1 (174^th), 2 (175^th), 1 (177^th), 1 (180^th), 1 (181^st), 3 (185^th), 2 (186^th), 1 (194^th), 3 (195^th), 9 (Council at-large one), 4 (Council at-large two)

Rob Thompson: 20 total

1 (US Sen), 2 (Governor), 6 (Congress 3^rd District), 1 (8^th District Assembly), 2 (170^th), 1 (10^th District), 1 (192^nd) 2 (194^th), 1 (195^th), 1 (Council at-large one), 3 (Council at-large two),

Rhys Hoskins:

3 (Council at-large one), 1 (Council at-large two)

Bryson Stott

1 (175^th), 1 (185^th)

Kyle Schwarber

2 (Council at-large two)

Ranger Suarez
1 (Council at-large one)

Jean Segura

1 (Council at-large two)

Phillie Phanatic

2 (Council at-large one), 1 (state Rep. ten), 1 (170^th), 1 (175^th), 1 (188^th), 1 (194^th)

Cliff Lee

1 (Council at-large one)

Steve Jeltz

1 (Council at-large two)

Mike Schmidt

1 (state Rep. 10)

Von Hayes

1 (182^nd)

Chase Utley

1 (U.S. Congress two), 1 (U.S. Sen.)

Braves Suck

1 (Council at-large two)

THE EAGLES

Go Birds.

Jalen Hurts: 19 total

4 (Council at-large one), 1 (Council at-large two), 2 (Governor), 1 (170^th), 2 (180^th), 1 (185^th), 1 (188^th), 1 (194^th), 1 (200^th), 4 (U.S. Congress 3^rd), 1 (U.S. Sen.)

Jason Kelce: 14 total

3 (Council at-large one), 1 (Council at-large two), 2 (Governor), 2 (170^th), 1 (U.S. Congress 2^nd), 3 (U.S. Congress 3^rd), 2 (U.S. Sen.)

Nick Sirianni: 4

1 (Council at-large one), 1 (Governor), 1 (195^th), 1 (U.S. Congress 2^nd)

Brian Dawkins: 2

1 (185^th), 1 (U.S. Congress 3^rd)

Swoop: 1 (U.S. Sen.)

Dallas Sucks: 1 (Council at-large one)

Fletcher Cox: 1 (Council at-large two)

Devonta Smith: 1 (Council at-large two)

Dallas Goedert: 1 (U.S. Congress 3^rd)

Malcolm Jenkins: 1 (Council at-large two)

Michael Vick: 1 (Council at-large two)

Nick Foles: 1 (202^nd)

THE SIXERS

Joel Embiid: 10

2 (Council at-large one), 1 (Governor), 4 (175^th), 1 (179^th), 1 (U.S. Congress two), 1 (U.S. Congress 3^rd)

Tyrese Maxey: 6

1 (Council at-large one), 2 (175^th), 1 (U.S. Congress two), 1 (U.S. Congress 3^rd), 1 (U.S. Sen.)

Allen Iverson: 1 (179^th), 1 (202^nd)

GRITTY

48 total

11 (Council at-large one); 3 (Council at-large two); 1 (State Rep. 10); 4 (State Rep. 170); 5 (State Rep. 174); 3 (State Rep. 175); 1 (State Rep. 182); 3 (State Rep. 195); 1 (State Rep. 200); 1 (State Rep. 203); 2 (2^nd State senate); 2 (8^th State senate); 2 (U.S. Congress 2^nd); 8 (U.S. Congress 3^rd); 1 (U.S. Senate)

*his buddy Claude Giroux got one vote for U.S. Sen.

HARAMBE

7 total

1 (Council at-large one); 1 (State Rep. 10); 1 (175^th); 1 (186^th); 1 (U.S. Congress 2^nd); 1 (U.S. Congress 3^rd); 1 (U.S. Sen.).

MESSI!

1 (Council at-large one)

YA FAVE TRASHMAN, TERRILL HAIGLER

25 (City Council at-large one), 11 (City Council at-large two)

ETC.

THE RETIRING KING OF GNOCCHIS (EAST FALLS EDITION)

Franco Faggi (1, U.S. Congress 3^rd)

THE LATE, GREAT T. MILTON STREET SR. — 4

1 (State Rep. 170^th); 1 (State Rep. 195^th); 1 (U.S. Congress 3^rd); 1 (U.S. Sen.)

THE ROTISSERIE CHICKEN GUY — 4

State Rep. 186^th (1), State Sen. 8^th (1), U.S. Congress 2^nd (1), U.S. Congress 3^rd (1)

TAYLOR SWIFT — 3

1 (Council at-large one), 1 (Council at-large two), 1 (181^st)

VERMIN SUPREME — 8

1 (Council at-large one), 1 (Council at-large two), 1 (181^st), 1 (192^nd), 1 (203^rd), 2 (second senate), 1 (U.S. Congress 2^nd)

TAKING A STAND

Reparations: 1 (Council at-large one), 1 (190), 1 (195), 3 (U.S. Sen)

Council at-large one: Vision Zero Yimby, Who Killed Yankel Rosenbum, The People, Your Vote is a Farse, ACAB, Resign Jim Kenney, Mr. Build Better Public Transit

Council at-large two: Waste of Money and Time

Governor: Family Court Reform, Al Schmidt and Bryce Harper

State Rep. 175^th: Get Better Candidates, Third Party Rights

State Rep. 179^th: Why Are You In Office

181^st: I Don’t Care

182^nd: That Dummy Ben Waxman

185^th: Save FDR Meadows

188^th: Burn It Down, I Would Rather Waste This Vote

192^nd: More Protected Bike Lanes

195^th: Open the Primaries

State Senate 8^th: No More Charters

U.S. Congress 2^nd: Open Primaries

U.S. Congress 3^rd: Open the Primaries

THE SOUTH PHILLY GOP WARD LEADER CAUGHT UP IN A BALLOT-HARVESTING MESS

Aka Billy Lanzilotti:

Council at large (1^st): 14

Council at large (2^nd): 5

U.S. Senator: 1

U.S. Rep. (3^rd): 17

Gen. Assembly (8^th): 8

175^th: 1

184^th: 40

185^th: 197

186^th: 2

WEAK ATTEMPTS TO “OWN THE LIBS” AND/OR DISGUSTING IGNORANCE

185^th: Fuck Joe Biden

192^nd: No CRT

195^th: Hunter Biden

U.S. Congress 2^nd: Hitler, The N****** Did Both, “Peice of Shit Wold Be Beter”

U.S. Congress 3^rd: Annoying Kamala Harlot Harris, Liberal Tears, Fuck Biden and Fuck the …, Fuck Joe Biden, No Democrats or Socialists.

U.S. Sen: Crime No Good and Prochoice, Hitler

FAMOUS PEOPLE (NON-FICTIONAL)

Council at-large one: Lefraud James, Ric Flair, Danny Devito

Council at-large two: Karl Marx, Vladimir Putin (2), Ben Franklin, Jim Carrey, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (close to 10 other entries as well), Vladimir Lenin.

Governor: Meek Mill, Mike Tyson (2), Frederick Douglass, Dwayne the Rock Johnson, Liz Cheney

State Rep. 10: Karl Marx, Thomas Jefferson

State Rep. 170: Meek Mill (2), Randy Savage, Howard Stern, Patti Labelle, Kurt Cobain

State Rep. 173: Mother Teresa

State Rep. 175: Meek Mill

State Rep. 188: Mao Zedong, George Washington, Leon Trotsky.

State Rep. 190: Rob McElhenney

State Rep. 192: Cicero, Jeffrey Dahmer

State Rep. 194: Jeffrey Epstein

2^nd Senate: Tina Turner, Mike Tyson

U.S. Congress 3^rd: Thomas Jefferson, Howard Stern, Joe Rogan, 21 Savage, Job Bluth, Punky Brewster, Lil Dicky, The Grinch, Chewbacca, Spongebob, Homer Simpson, Kyrie Irving, Capt. John Walker, Huey P. Newton, Tom Cruise

U.S. Sen.: Mumia, Mike Tyson, Oprah Winfrey, Abraham Lincoln, Malcolm X.

FAMOUS PEOPLE (FICTIONAL)

Nemo (Council at-large one), Percy the Small Engine (Governor), Rocky Balboa (State Rep. 10 along with a handful of other entries), Mr. Magoo (2, State Rep. 170), Cat Dog (State Rep. 170), Popeye the Sailor Man (State Rep. 170), Elmo (State Rep. 170), Peppa Pig (173^rd), Mister Potato Head (174^th), Grogu (174^th), Kodos (175^th), Indiana Jones (175^th), Spongebob (181^st), Gumby (181^st), Shrek (188), Batman (192), Scooby Doo (203), Mayor McCheese (2^nd Senate), Pop N Fresh (2^nd Senate), Hello Kitty (2^nd Senate), Chewbacca (3^rd), Spongebob (3^rd), Homer Simpson (3^rd), Scooby Doo , Thomas The Tank Engine.

WEIRD ENOUGH TO WARRANT MENTION

Head of Cabbage (186^th)

Jennifer Jordan (complete with home address) (188^th)

Carrot Cake Man (2, 188^th)

Random Stray Dog (194)

Detective John Munch the Cat (194)

Dead Person (203)

A Turnip, A Dead Dog, Dead Person (2^nd Senate)

Unicorn (8^th Senate)

Random Stray Cat, Wacky Inflatable Arm Flailing, John Ryan Douchebag McElvey (U.S. Congress 3^rd)

Yo Mama, My Mans and Them, Big Chungus Sneed (U.S. Sen.)

THE OLD STANDARDS

Council at-large one: Karl Marx (2), Judge Dredd, Mumia (2), Vladimir Putin, Nemo

Council at-large two: Mumia (2)

State Rep. 10: Baba Booey

Multiple races: The Most High God, Jesus.

THE NAUGHTY STANDARDS

Council 1: Mike Hunt, Bozo the Motherfucking Clown

State Rep. 170: Whoever Aborts More Babies, Deez Nuts

State Rep. 175: Deez Nuts

State Rep. 185: Ball Licker

State Rep. 186: Bofa Deez

State Rep. 188: Pee Nis

State Rep. 195: Not this Bitch

2^nd Senate: Ben Dover

8^th Senate: Deez Nuts

U.S. Congress 3^rd: Ligma

RANDOM LOCALS, MANY OF WHOM ARE ON TWITTER (NOT DELINEATING THESE BY RACE, BUT CONGRATS TO ALL!)

Lauren Vidas, Dena Driscoll, Joe Cox, Jen Devor, R Bradley Maule, Jon Geeting, Lauren Rinaldi, Mindy Isser, Job Itzkowitz, Larry West, James Gitto, Amanda McIllmurray, Asa Khalif, Rue Landau, Richard Jay Sax, James Gitto, Jen Devor, Eryn Santamoor, Erika Almiron, Mike Doyle, Solomon Jones, Sonny Hill, Fran Dunphy, Joshua Albert.