I guess, in some quadrant of the hearing world, this qualifies as entertaining. If you find that place, let me know. I mean, at least they have chicks fellating bottles. So there’s that. (H/T Where’s Weems)
In This Week’s Installment Of DeSean Jackson Embarrasses Himself
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Here’s My Appearance On Today’s Lunch Break With Rhea Hughes
Somehow, amid a conversation about the Philadelphia Eagles, I managed to utter “Kumbaya My Lord,” but didn’t go off on a profane rant when talk turned to DeSean Jackson. Baby steps.
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My Favorite Eagles Screen Grab Of This Disappointing Season
This is from the first half of today’s Philadelphia Eagles/Atlanta Falcons game telecast. That lady there, she did NOT know what she was getting when she sat down next to Yellow Snags, did she?
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When A Tailgate Car Blaze Becomes A Totem For The Philadelphia Eagles Franchise
So, by the looks of things, somebody was careless with their grill before yesterday’s Eagles/Cowboys debacle, which means we’ll be hearing a whole lot of Safe-BBQ Tips PSAs in the near future. At least it doesn’t look like someone was torching cars in the lot. They left that to Andy Reid and a heartless, gutless team, who torched any chance of success in the foreseeable future.
This Philadelphia Eagles team is impossible to like.
Scrap it and start over, Mr. Lurie or Mrs. Lurie or their collective divorce-attorney teams.
Also, Deadspin tipster Al sent in this picture of his buddy Ryan posing by the blaze. In a fucking Phillies jersey, no less:
Deadspin tipster Rich B. sent a picture of the unattended turkey fryer’s aftermath:
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Press Conference Screengrab Tells You All You Need To Know About Today’s Philadelphia Eagles
Moments earlier, Philadelphia Eagles Coach Andy Reid told the press assembled at South Philadelphia’s Novacare facility that walking away from the 3-7 team from which he will be exiled after a Dec. 30 loss to the New York Giants would be a “cop out.”
Guess it’s difficult to see the humanity of taking a horse with a busted leg out behind the track and ending its agony when you’re the horse who doesn’t know how the people cheering for you and the jockey feel.
But anyway, NBC10′s live feed stayed on long enough to capture an empty podium and the backdrop being taken away. Not sure if anything — besides Lesean McCoy’s CT scan — more accurately tells the story of an empty, rudderless sham from which people are aggressively fleeing.
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Go Ahead, Name Something More Annoying Than A Taylor Swift Parody Song About Andy Reid
Oh, I get it. Andy’s like Charlie Brown and that lady there is like Lucy pulling the football away.
Didn’t think you could.
This is what happens, Jeff Lurie, when you permit failure to fester. Did we learn nothing from Eight Belles?
On the plus side, and if you allow humor to mask pain, we’ll get to hear this for six more weeks on WIP.
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Mmm, Andy Reid’s Bitchtits
So, the Philadelphia Eagles done went and won their first game in 10 weeks yesterday, and what do I notice? Not the fact that Nick Foles led the type of last-second drive that we haven’t seen in 10 seasons in Philadelphia. Nope. The fact that the FoxSports graphic served as a variation of a bustier, that’s what. Andy Reid’s weight jokes are mean. And tired. But, whatever. I’m not a chyron operator.
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There Was A Lady Fight In The Lower Level Seats At Last Night’s Eagles Game
Granted, the Eagles ticket-price scale is akin to the last preseason game of each year right about now. So, this doesn’t speak to ladies of wealth resorting to fisticuffs or anything. This assertion is buttressed by the classy moment that a white dude yells “Shaniqua don’t live here no ‘mo” at them when they’re escorted out.
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Here Is Irrefutable Proof That My Beloved Philadelphia Is The Super Bowl Triangle’s Bermuda
*You will notice that I left the Colts, Redskins and Patriots out of it. This, because it was painful enough without seven additional harpoons in my hometown’s blubber. Nineteen. Jesus Christ Almighty. Nineteen.
** Congrats, Joe Flacco. You did the Colonial Conference and University of Delaware proud.
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No, SEPTA, The Eagles Have Not Won A Super Bowl Recently — Or Ever
(H/T @kchristine)
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Some Philly Media Outlet Needs To Sign This Guy As An Eagles Correspondent Posthaste
Granted, there might some FCC issues with which to grapple, but my man there loves his Birds.
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Jim Bob Cooter Is The Face Of A New America
Hey Philly, when Peyton Manning throws his 16th TD of the game next Sunday, remember one thing: This cat here, this Jim Bob Cooter, this true ‘Merican, holds the title of Quality Control coach as he works with the Broncos’ quarterback.
Good luck reconciling those emotions.
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Hey, That’s My Tweet About Matt Barkley On An NFL On Fox Roundup Of Tweets About Matt Barkley
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Win A Free Riley Cooper Autograph The Day After Black Friday
Nope, nothing ironic about this whatsoever. Because it’s Saturday. Not Friday. But oh so close.
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Buddy Ryan Made An Appearance (Sort Of) At Saturday’s Eagles Vs. Saints Game
Eagles Season-In-Review: Unexpectedly entertaining run to the playoffs; shoulda-coulda loss to the Saints. Overall: B+.
But if you’re looking to take comfort in something, I guess you could say Buddy Ryan got his first Philly-related playoff win, what with son Rob Ryan having Sir Bounty Bowl’s photo on the back of his defensive-coordinating cheat sheet.
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Oh, Fun: Terrell Owens Will Be In Philly On Feb. 20 For A Sports-Roast/Fundraiser [Updated w/ Video]
On the heels of his cheeky and/or titsy Carl’s Jr. ad, to which really thinskinned Philadelphians took exception, former Eagles WR and driveway-situps enthusiast Terrell Owens is slated to return to town for the “The 1st Annual Philly Sports Roast.”
Here’s the details and such. It’s for charity, so don’t get all scoffy and whatnot:
Philly Sports Roast WMV from Hair O' The Dog on Vimeo.
Former Eagle and NFL Bad Boy Terrell Owens Returns To Philadelphia To Settle Unfinished Business & Set The Record Straight As Featured Guest Of The “The 1st Annual Philly Sports Roast”
February 20, 2014 – 7:00 – 11:00 PM
Crystal Tea Room, 100 E Penn Square, Philadelphia
Tickets $175.00 and VIP Tables of 10 – $1950.00
A portion of proceeds to benefit Mary Kate’s Legacy Foundation www.marykateslegacy.comPHILADELPHIA, PA 01/14/14 — We often hear celebrities acknowledging their many blessings and expressing their wish to “give back to their fans and the community.” For 15 year NFL veteran and six-time Pro-Bowler Terrell Eldorado Owens — aka T.O. — this sentiment takes on a far less warm and fuzzy tone as it relates to City of Brotherly Love, where he played from 2004 thru 2006.
During his tenure with the Eagles, T.O. thrilled and enraged fans, confounded coaches and jacked up front-office blood-pressure, while still widely regarded as one of the great performers of the game.
And now, though no longer a player, T.O. is still needling Philadelphia, most recently in the nationally broadcast Carl’s Jr. cheesesteak burger TV ads, where Philly fans are portrayed as boorish drunks hanging out of a beat-up SUV hollering “T.O. you suck!”
On Thursday, February 20th this love hate relationship will be lanced like a festering boil when T.O. returns to the City of Brotherly Love as the featured guest of the “The 1st Annual Philly Sports Roast.” I’m coming back to Philly to take care of some unfinished business and set the record straight,” according to sources close to the mercurial T.O.!
This highly anticipated, unscripted and explicitly candid event will draw together high-profile sports celebrities, media personalities and top socialites to raise money for Mary Kate’s Legacy Foundation www.marykateslegacy.com and other local charities.
“The 1st Annual Philly Sports Roast” is presented by Philly’s own funnyman and impressionist extraordinaire Joe Conklin and on-air sports savant and Wing Bowl creator Al Morganti, in association with big bash experts, Hair O’ The Dog producers Metrospect Marketing. Joining in the hosting duties are entrepreneurs Julie Dorenbos, wife of Eagles player Jon Dorenbos, and “Boxing, Brains and Beauty” girl Susie Celek, who together run Skin Palette sunless tanning salon.
While the T.O. and fellow sports and media do the “Roasting” everyone in attendance will enjoy an evening of raw laughter and celebration at the very first “Philly Sports Roast” — soon to be Philadelphia tradition.
“The 1st Annual Philly Sports Roast” will be held at the Crystal Tea Room, 100 E Penn Square, Philadelphia. Tickets are $175.00 per person with VIP Tables of 10 for $1950.00. To buy tickets on line visit www.PhillySportsRoast.com, www.TicketLeap.com call 215-600-0009 Buffy@Metrospectevents.com.
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Eagles LB Connor Barwin Visited A K-8 School On My Block Today
… And luckily, I got to cover it for NewsWorks. My takeaway? Connor Barwin is a really decent, down-to-earth dude who just happens to be a really good football player.
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Tebow Mania Was Alive And Well During The Eagles Preseason Practice At The Linc
Headed down to the Linc for Tuesday’s public Eagles-camp session. Good time. Wrote about it for NewsWorks. You can read it here.
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Zach Ertz And Jordan Matthews Play With Tennis Balls After Eagles Practice
I headed down to a few Eagles preseason practices in the past week on account of a story I about Rasheed Bailey, an undrafted free agent trying to make the squad (and who just happens to have grown up a few blocks from our house).
Anyhow, it was a fun assignment. Above is a photo of superstars-in-the-making Zach Ertz (TE) and Jordan Matthews (WR) doing an after-practice drill that involves speed catching tennis balls. Enjoy.
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On A Mission From God To Tell The World That The Eagles Cut Tim Tebow
You could say I was a little disappointed that the Eagles cut Tim Tebow over Labor Day Weekend. Was rooting for the guy in the face of all his vehement haters. As such, I turned to the Periscope app to share news of his Philly demise. From Guatemala and Mexico to Sydney and Jakarta, word was shared. Spoiler alert: Most people — even the Americans — didn’t know who he was.
Below are vapers, Miss Texas USA and cow milkers getting word.
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